How to Respond to 'Hey' on Tinder
A bare 'hey' from a match is not low interest, it is low effort because she expects you to lead. Do not answer 'hey' back, do not ask 'how are you', and do not compliment her. Pick a hook from her profile and write the opener you would have sent first. The frame shifts the moment you ignore the prompt she set.
- Bare 'hey' means she swiped right and stopped. The lead is yours.
- Never mirror 'hey' back, that is the dead-thread shape.
- Open as if you were sending the first message. Use her profile.
- Skip 'how are you'. It costs effort, returns nothing.
What 'hey' actually means
She liked the photos enough to swipe and message, and she does not have a hook ready. That is it. It is not a test, it is not low interest, it is the same shape as a man's bare 'hey' but with one difference: she has already opted in by being the one to send first. The frame is yours to take.
The three responses that work
Profile read. Open as you would have if you had matched first. "Two travel photos and a dog. The dog clearly funds the trips." She replies in the same key and you are in a real thread.
Playful call-out. Acknowledge the shape, then move past it. "Hey is a bold opener, I respect the minimalism." Then add a hook. Lands warm if her bio carries any personality.
Direct one-liner with tonality. "Hey back. We have one job here: pick a coffee spot in [her city]." Works when her bio reads as no-nonsense, fails on bios that lean playful.
The responses that kill it
"Hey" back. "How are you." "How is your week." Compliments on her face. Long multi-question messages. The first three read as you having nothing, the last two read as you trying too hard. Both lose the frame she handed you.
When to skip her entirely
If the profile is empty, she sent 'hey', and you cannot find a hook, you have nothing to write to. Unmatch or move on. Forcing an opener into a vacuum produces threads that die in two messages.
How TextWizard reads a 'hey' thread
Paste it, the tool flags it as a lead-taking moment, and writes the opener in the voice that fits her profile. Most men write the wrong opener because they are trying to sound interesting instead of trying to set tonality. The tool defaults to tonality.
Frequently asked
- Should I wait before replying to 'hey'?
- No. Twenty minutes to an hour is fine. Two days reads as low interest and the match is dead.
- What if she sends 'hey' with an emoji?
- Same shape, slightly warmer signal. Use the playful call-out or the profile read, never mirror back with an emoji of your own.
- Does this work on Bumble where she has to send first?
- Same answer, more weight on the lead-taking move because she expects it. A real opener back is the default move on Bumble after a 'hey'.
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